Thinking Out Loud


Cobain's First Suicide Attempt

Kurt likes a girl in high school whose teachers claimed she was retarded. Kurt didn't think so. The girl was slow, perhaps, but she was sensitive and lovely. Most importantly she felt normal around Kurt. After a month or so of hanging around they end up at her house, with her parents out. Kurt Cobain tells her he wants to look at her without her clothes on, and he watches as she goes to her room and undresses. They pet and pant. He is horrified by the smell of her naked body, and he flees, vowing never again to touch another human being. Her father comes to the high school soon after, screaming bloody murder about his daughter's violation. The father and the principal sit down with the yearbook to identify the daughter's assailant. Kurt Cobain cut the day they took the yearbook photos, so he breathes a sigh of relief. But word gets around the students that Kurt was the boy messing with the slow girl, and then he has to run a gauntlet into school with all his schoolmates shouting, "Retard-fucker!" and that night he goes up to the train tracks to end his life. He lies down on the tracks and covers his body with a few concrete blocks so he won't jump when the train comes. The 11:00 to Tacoma rumbles onto the track, and Kurt Cobain closes his eyes and waits to be ripped into pieces. But the train passes harmlessly by on an adjoining track. Kurt removes the rocks and goes home, humiliated.

Must make this true story into a video. 


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